Sunday, May 12, 2013

Introductions Are Out of Order

I hate ice breakers, and I don't mean the gum. I'm talking about the insufferable inane moments in life whereby being in the same room at the same time with a given number of people somehow qualifies them to know a portion of your background.  Have you ever noticed that during a multitude of hours of the day, at a grocery store, or court house, or library, that you're in rooms full of strangers and feel no obligation whatsoever to stand up and introduce yourself; or play a game where every third person to speak has to sing a song or repeat the information the first two people said? It happens all the time, and its perfectly natural.  Yet somehow at work, or school, or social events/gatherings, the circumstantial workings of the wide world that have brought you thither under one roof are no longer good enough, and now I have to waste precious brain cells on listening to you jaw on about your husband, wife, kid, major, hometown, pets, and shopping carts; when I could have been secretly playing Candy Crush Saga and petitioning for a ticket to the lollipop village!

In any case, I am forced once again to introduce myself (let's just ignore the obvious irony that this blog is voluntary and move on) and am again finding myself for the loss of words. I'm not a bragger, and though I know myself better than anyone else I have no clue what to say. What's too little information? I am a person. What's too much? I pooped outside once and I was not on a camping trip. Where is the line? I don't know what is considered entertainment in the blogosphere. Somehow I think the best bloggers have found a way to ride that fine line.  They give just enough to provide intrigue yet not so much as to run off potential readers or watchers if we're talking about vloggers. I already think I've lost some potential readers as is because this introduction is too long and we are dealing with the attention span of the average American here. So let me shorten and stupid this up for the generals.

My Blog:

  1. I don't know what it will be about, but always believe in the promise of cookies
  2. I like to experiment, so the layout will change until I am either satisfied or apathetic
  3. Get a dictionary, it will expand your mind
  4. Don't depend on me for consistency (see point 1.)
  5. The web is anonymous so feel free to say anything in comments. I won't delete it I promise....unless it's like links to child pornography or snuff films. I'm not going to jail for your first amendment rights.
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